Coercion to circumcise

I was appalled when the nurses at the hospital kept him to get a circumcision after he got shots. I had to ask 4 times for my son back, and finally got up out of the bed (after a csection) and went to the nurses station demanding my son back. "We keep all the boys til noon for their circumcisions" the nurse said. I cursed at them and was furious. I had told them 3 times I did not want my son cut.

- casey martin, change.org, December 5, 2008

Trying to leave the hospital with our newborn son was like trying to escape from circumcision mountain.

- Jenny O'L, The Economist, June 23, 2008

My son was born June 1979 at Madison General Hospital, Wisconsin. It was clear to me that any kind of genital cutting of newborns is not only unnecessary, but a heinous invasion of personal physical integrity amounting in my mind to assault. This was clear to my wife and to our pediatrician as well. Naively I thought everything was taken care of and my healthy new son was perfectly safe. I hardly realized the critical danger he was running as regards his genital integrity so long as he and his mother were still in hospital.

You can imagine, perhaps, the shock and fear I felt when a rather agitated nurse accosted me in the hallway on the second day and urgently pressed on me the information that C--- hadn't been "circ'ed yet":

Perhaps not panic, but there was a definite tone of emergency and high urgency in this woman's voice and physical manner. Implied was the accusation, why, as father, hadn't I acted before this. Really alarmed, I exclaimed:

My discomfort and embarassment in this encounter was only heightened by the fear that this woman would disturb my wife and create fears in her, fears that I would somehow have to counter. This never transpired.

My ordeal and anxiety were, however, not over yet: on two other similar occasions I was confronted by different nurses with virtually the same reproach:

I was just astounded at the realization of how mindless this force of hospital procedure actually was. No question about why we do this. It's just there to be done. No questions are to be asked. And there is a definite communication of "what's wrong with you?" "why aren't you going along with what must be called for since everybody does it?"

Truly I have never gotten over the shock of this experience.

My son's godfather told me last year that his younger brother is intact and that when he confronted his father about it, why he'd been genitally cut and his brother hadn't been, his father apologized and told him that neither he nor his wife had wanted or expected this to happen - being Greek they have no such custom and find it abhorrent - but that to his horror too late he found that the hospital personnel (in either Racine or Milwaukee, Wisconsin) had simply gone through with the "procedure" without informing them. Of course this was a prosecutable offense of unwarranted and unauthorized surgery, but it was also more than fifty years ago and my friend's parents were uninformed immigrants.

I hope these and many many other stories serve as so many nails into the coffin of enforced and involuntary genital mutilation of all kind, but especially in the case of the newborm.

Greg B at motheringdotcommune
May 22, 2008

My D[arling] W[ife]'s OB/GYN asked about it several times at pre birth office visits, and we said no. Seemed like it was all resolved.

Then, at the actual birth, just after I had cut the umbilical cord, he began pressuring us big time. My wife was so out of it, she does not even remember, and if I had not been there, probably would have succumed to his pressure. He walked back and forth, tone of voice, posture, practically pleading with me to change my mind. I believe many people would have changed their mind under his assault.

Very unprofessional.

leighti123, at motheringdotcommune, May 23, 2008

At the hospital, at least 5 people asked if I wanted d[arling ]s[on] circ'd - I said no each time but they kept asking. They were pretty awful there about that - every time I said 'no' they would roll their eyes and say 'are you sure?' - (Yes, I'm sure that I don't want to let anyone cut pieces off my perfect baby....)

layla983 at motheringdotcommune, May 23, 2008

As soon as I found out it was a boy, they handed us a bill. Had to be pre-paid. I called & said we didn't want it done, so not to bill us like the paperwork said we'd be billed. The lady on the phone told me to "think it over" & I got the bills. Again, I called & told them not to send them. About 2 weeks later I get ANOTHER letter saying that if I didn't pay my late payment & current payment, they'd want everything paid in advance before seeing me for anything, even my regular OB visits. After a day on the phone & calling several people in that building, I got it taken care of.

A doctor also mentioned it to us, even though it was marked in our chart that it wasn't getting done. When we told the midwife to correct our chart (we were asked when they confirmed my pregnancy, I said we weren't sure because I was still talking to DH about it, but they went ahead & marked circ anyway), she obviously cringed. She also rolled her eyes when she realized I had changed DH's mind (DH said something to that effect, I forget what though) & if she wasn't in a hurry I think she would have given me a lecture about how the dad should choose since he has a penis & I don't.

And my personal favorite circ comment EVER? Right after DS was born, after 24 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing & about 3 minutes away from an emergency c-section if he hadn't come when he did, I hadn't even got to hold DS yet, the doctor is stiching me up, & he asked "So...you want him circ'ed?" I told him no, then he said he remembered that was in my chart. He then said, "I figured if I had to stay here all night for you, I'd go ahead & do it myself instead of letting the weekend on call OB do it so I could get paid for it." That left me pretty speechless.

purplestraws at motheringdotcommune, May 23, 2008

We weren't pressured to circ our son, but ... I seriously think that we were asked 10 times, even after they had put it on his chart that he was not to be circ'd. It was really pretty ridiculous...

Thixle at motheringdotcommune, May 24, 2008

I gave birth to a DAUGHTER in the only hospital for 25 miles... and they still gave me a Circumcision Release Form in with all the standard birth certificate/picture order form package. No one said anything about it while I was pregnant.

Johnathan Dorley at motheringdotcommune, May 25, 2008

I was pressured to [be] circumcise[d] about a year ago when I was about 18, in the UK. I had some small problem with my penis (some veins appeared swollen), which I went to my doctor for, and he decided to refer me to a urologist.

The urologist examined my penis, found no problem with my veins, but decided that I should be circumcised because my foreskin was tight. I immediately refused, and I tried to explain that it wasn't as tight as it had been a year before, because I had been stretching it. He told me that my stretching loosened the foreskin by giving it small tears [this is not true if the stretching is gentle enough], and that it would soon become even tighter. He also told me that I would get a build up of smegma, which he said could cause cancer.

I refused the operation, and he offered a 'half-circumcision', and I still refused, and he seemed to get a little annoyed. He told me "well, think about it, and if you wait you may later get paraphimosis, and then we'll be operating on an emergency basis".

A year later, and of course my penis is fine. Unfortunately at the time I was a little upset by the whole thing, and I didn't realise that I could actually complain about it, so I didn't file any complaints.

cherri0196 at motheringdotcommune, May 25, 2008

I definitely got pressured by my delivering OB to circumcise, unsuccessfully of course!! The birth and everything went great, my son was born healthy with no problems and im Thankful for that!! Then things went south when he say's to me " o.k. he looks GREAT! we can get him circumcised tomorrow" ( This is literally RIGHT after the birth, i mean he just stitched me up and im still laying there bleeding when he says this to me, nice huh?) I say to him...."oh No we're NOT getting him circumcised!!" Then of course he starts spewing this non-sense about how it's cleaner and healthier and its better to just get it done now....blah blah blah (meanwhile my pro-circ family is in the room eating up every word he say's) and i just told him that we're not changing our minds, and that issue was resolved. After that i really didn't have any other problems, My Lactation Consultant asked me if i was getting him circumcised mainly out of curiosity and I told her "No" and she just said "GOOD!". My son's pediatrician looked him over the next day but didn't say anything regarding circumcision.

The day i was getting discharged one of the recovery nurse's walk in and say's "Oh did you want to get him circumcised??" (This was like an hour before they let me go so it was kind of like they forgot about me, which was nice!) I just said "Nope" and she just turned around and walked out. THEN the Delivering OB (AGAIN) came in just to check on me and see how I was doing, said I looked good and was discharging me and before he walked out he say's "If you change your mind about getting him circumcised, let me know, I can do it"

Thanks for the support butt head!!!

SunkenShip on Japan ForumAugust 17, 2010

When my son was born, we were asked about 20 times if we wanted him circumcised, despite the fact that our birth plan stated "NO CIRCUMCISION." Every nurse and doctor kept asking, "He's not circumcised. You don't want him circumcised?"

And then pediatricians feel the need to advise me that my son is "more at risk".

bjett posting in Sueeasy 12 February, 2009

When I gave birth to my son in 1995 at Presbyterian Hospital in Charlotte NC. I informed the pediatrician (the person that does the circumcision) in advance that I did not want my son circumcised. He agreed that there was no medical reason, but still recommended it so he would look like other boys. The day after my son was born (he was born at night) a nurse came in to my hospital room with a number of forms to sign, including a circumcision consent form. I told them that I did not want my son circumcised unless they could give me a valid medical reason for it. The nurse left. A couple of hours later two nurses came back in with only the circumcision consent form and asked me to sign it. I asked them why they were giving me the form again when I had declined earlier. They said, "We just want to make absolutely sure you do not want this." I asked if there was a good medical reason to do so (I knew there wasn't, I just wanted to see what they would say). Suddenly one of the nurses grabbed the form and started to scratch a big red "X" over it. She seemed upset so I asked if she was mad. She replied, "Well, I am just making sure he isn't accidentally circumcised."

Good grief. I was shocked how medicine was being practiced at one of the largest hospitals in Charlotte NC, nurses repeatedly soliciting for unnecessary medical procedures and then suggesting that there's a significant likelihood that the procedure may still be performed without my consent if I do not make it very clear that I do not want the procedure for my son by having a large X crossed over the consent form.

I have no suit but can testify for a plaintiff if anyone has a claim against this hospital for a circumcision performed during this time period...

Intact America, June 22, 2009

Dean Pisani says he and his wife were pressured to have their expected baby circumcised by the obstetrician and doctors in Illinois hospitals even before they knew his sex.

The Pisanis researched the topic "and could find no rational or persuasive argument to subject a baby to surgery that had no medical benefit. We came under pressure from doctors prior to the birth of both of our children, but none could substantiate the medical necessity to perform the surgery. The pressure from doctors was both inappropriate and indefensible."

christine mastin of PA posting on US News.com, September 4, 2009

i was a single mother when my son was born. The nurse came in with instruction for circumcision, i said i didn't sign anything to have him circumcised, she said we'll do that next, i said no we wont he is staying complete, unharmed, not damaged, left in tact. She came back three more times trying to get me to sign the paper work, i demanded to see my son in tact. she scowled at me in disgust.

ajax57 on New York MagazineOcteber 20, 2009

Isn't it nice that Hugo had a choice? Look across the pond: most men neither need nor want to have part of their penis cut off. When my son was born, our doctor and nurse really pressured us to do it, without any of the "informed consent" mumbo-jumbo. They just wanted to do it. We didn't, even though I'm cut. There's no medical study supporting the belief that an un-circumcised America would suffer - or that Europeans are less healthy - and obviously amputating sexual tissue must diminish sexual sensation, no matter what circumcised "doctors" say. This was all before the HIV/circumcision scare, but I see that HIV rates in uncircumcised Europe are lower than in mostly circumcised America. Duh: if you are having sex with infected people, count on getting infected, cut or not. I think the new push to circumcise is psychological, not medical.

Alison on Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross, October 24, 2009

... My son was born at 31 weeks and only 3 lbs. I told them then that I did not want him circumcised. They explained to me that most children [should] keep the same appearance as their father's. I told them that dad was circumcised but that the baby will NOT be. After spending 3 wks in the NICU they said that he was finally strong enough to be circumcised. Do they really believe that a child that has already been struggling, should then have his penis mutilated before coming home? It kind of makes me sick that they were so persistent.

Petition to the CDC Signature # 12,049:

3:11 pm PST, Nov 4, David Gates, California

We had to request multiple times and had to confirm with our doctors and nurses that we did NOT want our son circumcised. The pediatrician said "really? I guess it's not that necessary anymore. Here's how you clean it..." The resistance to our decision compared to the blase response of the pediatrician indicates an atrocious knowledge-procedure gap for newborn boys.

Ootie grl on The Frisky, November 12. 2009

I did not have my son circumcised. Its his stuff. He can decide when hes older. I felt weird making such a personal decision for him. The nurses were really pushing it though. Circumcision is not neccesary is it?

wrpd on Pharyngula, December 4, 2009

When my first son was born in 1975 I told the doctor not to circumcise him. He didn't ask us about it; he was just going to do it automatically. He gave me all the stupid reasons, like being different from his friends. I prevailed. I went through the same process with the same doctor with my second son in 1977.

Barbara Lindsey, California a petition to the AAP, December 4, 2009 (signature #753)

Doctors really try very hard to get the mother to sign consent forms for circumcision. I declined, but my doctor kept trying to get me to do it. I think this is really unnecessary.

coastalcarla on the Huffington Post, December 12, 2009

I was told by my ob/gyn 21 years ago that I would be committing what amounted to child abuse if I didn't do it to my son when he was born.

Lisa Warmbrodt, Kentucky on the Care2 petition to the CDC (#14,058), January 2, 2010

... my son was born in California, and I asked that he not be circumcised. I moved to Kentucky three years later, and my son got a kidney infection. I was told by the doctor that it was because he was uncircumcised, and not knowing any better, I allowed them to perform the procedure. They botched it, and my son was subjected to intense pain and subsequent embarrassment that he still suffers fifteen years later. Now I know it wasn't even necessary.

NoGodsNoMasters on the Experience Project, October 9, 2010

You know even though my boys penis's are completely healed, I still feel guilty for having them snipped. I wish I would have been provided with more information with my first born. Instead I was pressured by the doctors and family to circumcise.

blondeNklutzi on Baby and Bump, January 7, 2010

OH [Other Half] and I have decided NOT to have the baby circumcised when he is born, OH is not and I don't want to subject a newborn to an unecessary (sp?) surgery. My OB [Obstetrician] is being really really pushy about this though! Luckily our pediatrician is supportive.

Rood Andersson on a restoration mailing list, January 15, 2010

After the wife of a member of our foreskin restoration group (NORM-Phoenix) suddenly gave birth to a boy six weeks premature (in 2004), he, the husband, felt compelled to stand guard over the child for several weeks prior to the child's discharge from the hospital, as both parents were under constant pressure to have their child's foreskin removed.

Just before the child's release, one obviously exasperated doctor accosted the father, almost demanding that the child be circumcised, saying: "But that's what we do, here!" This in a large hospital located in a tony, northerly section of the seemingly progressive town of Scottsdale, Arizona.

jtraveler80 on Men's Health, March 1, 2009

... I have been witness to nurses telling parents that it's child abuse if they don't CIRC their son. ...

rufus firefly on The Huffington Post March 3, 2010

I am uncut and in my 38 years I have NEVER had any problems with my penis, nor have I ever felt awkward about it or been ridiculed by any of the women I have been with. In fact, most didn't even notice and a few who had never seen one told me that they liked it better the natural way. I insisted that our son also be left intact, though the hospital staff must have asked us at least half a dozen times if we wanted to circumcise him. If the AAP changes its policy to recommend circumcision, they will probably make it much harder for parents to opt out of it.

Mike on The Oracle (U of South Florida) March 16, 2010

"It’s not right for the CDC to impose suggestions" -- I have to agree, anyone that has had a son born in the US already knows the constant badgering from the medical profession. They can make money off the procedure, by the CDC making a recommendation it just gives the medical community another form of coercion to place on parents during a stressful time. My son was born back in 2005, we were ask[ed] a total of 3 times before I could get my son safely home (question[s] like "you realize your son hasn't been circumcised yet"). Why were they so interested in my son's penis? I can only think it was the money not the well being of my child.

françoise on May 20, 2010

(to my sons: sorry if this embarrasses you)
When i INSISTED that i would NOT sign the medical release decades ago, for the rest of my stay in the ward, nurses pointed me out to each other referring to me in loud whispers as that DIRTY EUROPEAN. I am an old woman now but went around the block a few times in my, too short, heydays and my position hasn’t changed as a mother or as a woman.

coyote on Sean's Girls June 6, 2010

i am an imigrant to the states from ukraine. i was born there and therefore am intact. recently i was in the hospital where my brother was being born, and the doctor came in with some papers and handed them to my father. i saw a vein bulge in his neck and looked damn near ready to yell at him. the doctor started explaining that it had "health benefits" and made it sound that every intact person WILL get some sort of disease. my dad told him that he, his family, his friends, and everyone he knows is intact and has never had disease or any problem regarding the foreskin. he also told him that he knows more cut guys who have stds than intact men. after handing the papers back without signiture, the doctor looked suprised that anyone would choose not to.

Nick on Babble.com June 16, 2010

... When our son was born this past February, we had already decided long before that he would not be circumcised. However, we were probably asked at least a dozen times if we wanted to have it done, to the point that I worried it might happen by accident, if they mixed him up with another baby. ...

Mokehillannie on CBS News November 12, 2010

Fifty years ago I Had to fight the doctor to keep my son from having that barbaric action taken on him. They told me it was cleaner and I said, then cut the tips of his fingers off to keep the nails clean!! That stopped their arguements

Cara on Mother Jones, November 17, 2010

My husband who is circumcised was adamant that his son not be mutilated like he was. He watched him like a hawk in the hospital because it seemed like everyone was ready to cut off our son's foreskin at every turn. No one in the hospital understood our decision. We also had several disagreements with family members who believed that it was medically necessary and thought that our son would have problems later in life.

ErinKate23 on 9 Davids blogspot November 22, 2010

I gave birth to my son in a small, "baby friendly" hospital with waterbirth tubs in every room. It was a beautiful space, a very unusual hospital that paid close attention to gentle beginnings, didn't have a nursery, and taught safe co-sleeping practices. Yet, despite this attention to a peaceful start, they asked me 4 times if I wanted to have David circumcised. I told them no in 4 creative ways, learning that all of the nurses and most of the doctors didn't approve of the practice. THEY STILL DID IT [to other babies]. I will never forget resting in my beautiful room with my perfect son in my arms, listening to the screams of baby boys being cut in a little room next to the nurses' station. I cried and held David close - but those screams still haunt my nightmares. I wanted to run in and stand in front of that knife. I wanted to run to their parents rooms and shout, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOUR PERFECT BABY? I know it probably wouldn't have done any good, but I still feel like I didn't do enough. So, I'm speaking out....

Rabbit0340 on YouTube March 8, 2011

i was pregnant when i posted on here last. my son is now 6 months old. they asked us 10 times before we left the hospital if we wanted him circumsized. i completely left it up to my husband and he told them no everytime they asked. i sent my husband all kinds of emails and information and even though we never actually spoke to each other about it my point got through and hes told me several times how happy he is we left our son intact. dad calls baby george anteater sometimes lol

Daya Chaney-Webb on Parkville-Overlea Patch, April 21, 2011

The only difference between having a girl or a boy, in the beginning, is that when you have a boy, your obstetrician will discuss scheduling a circumcision.

Usually not posed as a question (at least in my experience with two boys), this procedure has been par for the course in the U.S. since brought here from England in the late 19th century. ...

If I could do it over again, I wouldn't choose circumcisions for my boys. I felt pressured by the doctors, and worried about my husband's approval.

jeremy_mi on stloday (St Louis) June 15, 2011

We had our baby boy 7 years ago at the "baby factory" (St Johns Mercy) and they put lots of pressure on us to circ our son. They tried to make us feel we were making a big mistake by not having it done.

They actually slipped the circ order in with other forms they asked my wife to sign such that she signed the circ order without realizing it. When I told the nurse that we would not circ she said well your wife agreed to the procedure. My wife told me that she never saw the form. After that we were labled difficult patients. My son was NOT circumcised.

jciferniperry on YouTube June 24, 2011

I have a newborn son - less than 4 weeks old. We did not circumcise him as my husband and I had previously decided not to. I was asked three different times if we wanted it done and each time we declined. One of the reasons offered for it was that it is covered by insurance in our state. As if that's a reason!

Calebsgm on Huffington Post July 1, 2011

To be honest, when my son was born in 1978, he was circumcize­d. The doctor acted like this was something that was routine and really never even gave me a choice about it. Now, I know that he should have given me more informatio­n about how the procedure was done and made sure I was making an educated choice....

Kim on The Bay Citizen August 5, 2011

25 yrs ago I refused circumcision for my newborn. Even his doctor tried to humiliate me. I couldn't care less back then and now I see I was on the right side of history. Feel sorry for all the boys that can't get it back now.

Sugarcoated on MSNBC , 2011

... with my first child they didn't even really ask me if I wanted my son circumcised, its all so "assumed". They shove a consent in your face and being only 20yrs old then, thinking they have my best interests at heart right? Wrong! My son was scarred in such a way he had to be "redone" at about the age of 2. After that I decided my second son could make the choice for himself.

KenInd on Huffington Post January 30, 2012

When my mother viewed her first grandson, she noted that we had decided to leave him intact. She said that is fine; that my father had been intact and that I was probably the first in our family's line for whom circumcisi­on at birth had been chosen. I thought no more about it. It was the rule when I was a boy.

A decade later, moments before she passed away, I held her hand. She whispered something. I bent closer to hear. "I am sorry," she said. "I wanted you to know."

She was sorry that she had chosen for me something that she really did not want; something the lying[-]in hospital thought was essential. This had haunted her for years. I did not know.

To this day I regret that she felt the need to express regret as her last words to me. I wish I had never had this done for me for that reason alone, if for no other. I hope not one of my male descendent­s ever have it imposed upon them. It will be their choice, and their choice alone.

RD on February 16, 2012

I’m an American male and was really hurt to find out what my mother had consented to. I hate what was done to me because of some pushy ... doctor. My mother said no twice.

Thors Hammer (@ThorsHammerr) on Twitter February 20, 2012

Pedetrician tried a 6th time to convince my wife to do a #circumcision on my baby. Fucking predation, not informed consent. #i2

SausageM on Slate June 30, 2012

When did circumcision come back in fashion again for Christians? It's not seen as a religious thing any more, but we had to tell the hospital several times we didn't want it done, and then they charged us for the procedure they didn't perform.

not2 good on Huffington Post July 2, 2012

It has always puzzled me that parents who buy baby shampoo, to prevent hurting their baby's eyes, see no issue when it comes to cutting off the foreskin without a pain killer. When my son was born, in an military hospital in Germany, I practically had to fight the doctor to prevent him from circumcising him.

Rosa on YouTube (0:36 in) July 16, 2012

What kinda made sure for me that it was a definite "No way, nohow" was the pressures I got from the doctors. The pressure from the doctors came a couple of days after you gave birth, in that timeframe, and "Why aren't you doin' it?" "Everyone on the hospital is doin' it." It just kind of shoved me over, it was like, a procedure. No respect for humans at all. Male or female, that's irrelevant. And the other issue that came to me, while I was in hospital was, it weighed very heavy on me, why should a woman make a decision for a man that has no voice? I just, something along that line, I couldn't live with myself. So I said "No way, nohow, I am not mutilatiing my child." ...

SamaireP on YouTube, October 15, 2012

In 1993, 1995, 1997 & 1999 I gave birth to a son in each year, so I had 4 sons.

I would not allow them to be mutilated.

In one case, a doctor ranted for half an hour in my hospital room, a day after I had given birth, about how I was doing my baby a bad thing not to make sure he was 'kept clean' & I was mute with astonishment at this doctors anger at me. But I did not budge. My sons are now ages 19, 17, 15 & 12 are intact & happy & healthy.

Dean Esmay on A Voice for Men January 6, 2013

It was unreal how many times my ex and I had to say no to the hospital staff with our sons. The nurses were particularly bullying about it.

A fan on Hey LLL: Circumcision Affects Breastfeeding! Tell moms the truth! February, 2013

I had a son in November 2010. I had him circumcised. ... However, I gave birth to another boy in September 2012. Before I even knew he was a boy, I decided to leave my baby whole. He was born with a heart condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and despite that, the doctors still asked if I was having him circumcised over and over. The answer was and always will be NO! He is 3 and a half months old now, still intact and has endured 2 open heart surgeries. No one will lay a hand...or a scalpel...on my son's penis. He is perfect the way he is....

Jo Williams on Intactivists of Australia March 4, 2013

While working as a maternity nurse in the 1960?s, I knew of at least one male infant who bled to death following circumcision carried out in the hospital where he was born. I can still see his parents’ faces when they were told their beautiful baby was dead. Because of that experience I did not allow my son to be circumcised in spite of the social pressure on all parents to consent to it at the time. We were practically forced to agree and it took a strong parent to say ‘no’ to the pressure to consent ... My son is very grateful I refused to be bullied by the so called ‘medical experts’ or religious nutters, and he would never allow his sons to be circumcised.either. ... How many deaths have there actually been? Is anyone taking responsibility for them? If not, why not?

Cassandra Price on Facebook, March 23, 2013

The Hospital nurses thought my sister was crazy and kept trying to take her son to get it done even though she signed paperwork to refuse it.

Beth on the Friendly Atheist, May 1, 2013

We had our oldest circumcised and, at 3 year old, he has a skin bridge that will have to be taken care of later in his life. Welcome to the world buddy, We are cutting your penis and it is going to cause you problems later in life.

We didn't cut our second son and the doctor went a little nuts! He told me over and over again (before I left the hospital) that my son would have increased risk of UTI, that if I waited he would have to be under anesthesia. He implored my husband. We like this guy a lot, he does a great job with the kids, but hey man...I said keep your hands off my kids c*ck, I understand that there is a risk, but its not like I don't bathe the kid!

Jill Hartley Lybarger on Facebook, May 4, 2013

40+ years ago when my brother was born the hospital refused to admit my Mom until she signed the papers giving them permission to circumcise him. My Dad is not circumcised and had no intention of having it done to his children.

Nicole on Facebook June 6, 2013

My son is was born 15 minutes after arriving at the hospital. Because of his fast arrival he was admitted into the NICU and was kept there for 7 days because he "might" get jaundice, even though jaundice can easily be treated at home! FOUR times while going for feedings and visits, there were circumcision consent forms laid out for us to sign. Each time we put a BIG X across the paper and it was filed in his folder. I honestly felt like they were trying to "trick" us into signing it knowing that we had to leave him there. On the last attempt I made it very clear to the neonatologist that if he was to be circumcised, we would sue! Circumcision was never mentioned again.

Karen on Joseph4GI June 18, 2013

... When I had my oldest, we repeatedly declined circ but they were so keen on circumcising him that when I went to the bathroom, I took him with me to keep them from taking him against my will. My husband and I had to take turns staying awake and watching him because they tried to get him in the middle of the night when we were asleep. That's hardly leaving it up to parental preference.

Caitie - personal communication, July 8, 2013

... I am a retired science teacher with a Master's Degree in human physiology and PhD course completion credits in cardiology, so I know quite a bit about the human body and how it works.

My son ... was born in April of 1984. I had been in labor for 32 hours (natural childbirth), so I was starving and tired ... I hadn't eaten since Sunday and this was Tuesday morning.

We didn't know ahead of time whether we were having a boy or a girl... As I passed the baby's shoulders and he was officially born, I heard one of the nurses say in enthusiasm, “What do we have? Oh, it's a boy!” and my heart soared. I had a son. A beautiful, perfect son. I was thrilled.

My OBGYN put this beautiful newborn baby boy on my stomach and the very first thing he said, while I was still marveling at the fact that I'd just become the mother of this absolutely gorgeous child, was “Are you going to have him circumcised?” ... My son hadn't even had his umbilical cord cut yet!

I hesitated, because I don't think circumcision is necessary and I didn't want to subject my newborn son to such a procedure. However, I was overruled by both the doctor, who said, “I recommend it!” and my husband, who said, “YES!” very definitively. He is, as you can imagine, circumcised as well.

I gave in, largely because I was so tired and hungry, but I had misgivings. ... I did have the thought flash through my mind that I didn't want to subject [him] to ridicule or feeling “different” by being perhaps the only kid he knew who had a foreskin, but I still had doubts ...

The day after ... , a nurse brought him in to me to show me now to bathe him, and he was still intact. The thought crossed my mind, “I could still put a stop to this,” and I mentioned to the nurse, “I see they still haven't done the circumcision. I'm really not sold on the idea,” and she said, “I know, but it's for the best.” I looked at my perfect, intact son and thought, “I hope it doesn't hurt him too much” and it was breaking my heart. How I wish I could go back to that day again! I'd never have allowed it now, and I'd have told my husband so. I didn't care what the doctor thought, it was really because my husband wanted it so that I let it happen.

... To this day, 29 years later, I regret not fighting harder against the procedure. ... I don't buy into all of the traditional arguments for it, and if so many of the world's males are intact and have none of the problems we're told will happen to uncircumcised males, I have to question the validity of the arguments and assume that they come from a place of prejudiced brain-washing of both doctors and lay people.

... I support the movement to allow newborn boys remain the way nature intended; with an intact foreskin....

Amanda Bowden on Facebook November 8, 2013

So sad some drs do see it as common when i had my son 3 1/2 months ago they asked me every day till i left the hospital if i wanted to sign the paper work and get it done

EOD on My OB Said WHAT? November 25, 2013

... My room happened to be directly across from the nurses’ station. When it came time for us to go home, I overheard our midwife tell the nurse on duty that she was going to start the discharge paperwork.

Our midwife informed her that we’d declined both on paper and verbally. Then the nurse proceeded to argue with the midwife that there MUST have been a misunderstanding. I guess having “no circumcision” in our birth plan, actively declining in our admissions paperwork, and reiterating “no” at every single shift change somehow did not preclude any ambiguity for her.

To be fair, all three midwives and all three pediatricians we had seen up to this point were either openly supportive of our (non)decision or never mentioned circumcision at all. It was the nurses who just would not. stop. asking. Our impression was that they believed we would “come to our senses” eventually, although I suppose some of them could have just been functioning on autopilot rather than passing judgment. Still, it was the one blight on what was an otherwise very positive experience.

The silver lining to this particular incident was that after our obviously irritated midwife stuck her head in to verify that my husband and I honestly, truly, really meant what we said, we also got to overhear her giving the nurse an earful–not just for her lack of professionalism, but for acting as though taking home a perfectly normal, healthy male baby as-is would be something to avoid at all costs.

Ashley on My OB Said WHAT? November 25, 2013

Wow. This sounds like one of the 5 nurses I had with my last. We medically could NOT circumcise our son and she followed us to the parking lot demanding we "make him normal." I hope the OP had a slightly saner nurse on her hands.

Jenni on My OB Said WHAT? November 25, 2013

sounds like when i took my son home! two whole days of nurses coming in, going “oh, and you’re not circumcising him” and then moving on became a FREAK OUT 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave as i was finishing the discharge paperwork, three nurses came in and said “You can’t leave yet, we didnt circumcise him!” and then looked at me kinda deadpan when i said “we’re not going to” and the nurse that was already there with me just showed them the paper where i had already declined it….. ...

Dee Resnick Forlano on Omaha.com December 18, 2013

Doctors continually solicit and push parents into offering up thier sons for this mutilation. My sister in law was asked 3 times per day if she wanted her son cut while she was in the hospital recovering from his birth, Each shift of nurses, every day checked to be sure she hadn't changed her mind. There is a financial motive for health care practitioners and hospitals to solicit this unnecessary surgery.

EIK on Philly.com, January 14, 2014

We were the first ones in our family to decide against infant circumcision. Our son should decide for himself when he is older.

However, we were asked about five times at the hospital whether we were sure about our decision and we did get years of comments from some family members.

mum2two of Sheffield, UK, on The Mail Online, April 2, 2014

Sara MacFarlane on Facebook April 22, 2014

Sigh. This happened to me too, homebirth transfer that ended with a cesarean, Rhogam, pushy nurses. No less than five people asked if I wanted him circumcised.

Emily Felix
Sara MacFarlane, your experience sounds very similar to mine. We only had one nurse repeatedly bring up circumcision. She even approached my husband when I wasn't around. I guess she thought he'd be sympathetic to her cause- but he's intact too, and shut her right down

Dr Quarters on The Bump April 30, 2014

I've noticed it's really regional too. When I had my first son we said once that we weren't circumcising and that was it. We've moved since then and when I had DS2 we were asked multiple times if we needed to schedule the circumsion. It was almost like they thought it was forgotten. That said, regional or not, I've never felt judged in either place.

katiedidthat on The Bump May 1, 2014

We didn't with either of our boys. The hospital asked a thousand times, so we assume it is the norm here, but frankly- I don't care what anyone else is doing, these are my kids. When my ODS was born the first thing my BIL asked was "so you had him cut, right?" And then went off on my DH about how he's going to be the laughing stock of the school when he gets to high school. My theory is any teenage boy who is that concerned with whether his peers are cut or intact during gym class has some personal issues of his own to work out.

Go Bronson on Moms Gone Bronson, May 16, 2014

I was adamant that I would not be having my son circumcised but when he was born he ended up in the NICU for a week, during which time, I was asked 6 or so times whether I was having a circumcision and had I forgotten to sign the paper to get it done - as though I might have forgotten something like that!?

I couldn't possibly have decided to keep my child "in tact", could I? - I couldn't believe it! I knew that circumcision in America was almost just the done thing but I didn't realize how abnormal SOME places seem to see the process of just leaving it alone!!

Marissa, friend of Brother K on Facebook May 29, 2014

When I had my son they wrote on the board a list of things to do before discharge, every time a new nurse came in they would say "Oh we still need to perform the circumcision." I told each nurse over and over it was NOT to be done. Finally after 5 nurses I spoke up and said, "Can you please write NO next to circumcision. I'm sick of getting asked, my son will not be circumcised." After that I was thanked by my dr for being an educated and informed momma :)

Brian Herrity on YouTube at Kaiser Permanante Hospital, Walnut Creek CA, July 6, 2014 (starts at 0:49)

"When I was boothing at a Bay Area Intactivist event once, a man told me that his son was born at this hospital, Kaiser Walnut Creek, and he had to tell five different nurses "No, I don't want to circumcise my son." When they sent the sixth nurse in - different person - again, trying to shove the consent-form down his throat, he said "No - if you send someone else in here, I will call my lawyer." And so he was just like "No, they pushed on me and felt I was lucky I made it out with my son in one piece."

Annie on the New York Times December 3, 2014

I worked as an OB nurse for many years before having a son. During those years, I watched and assisted at many, many circumcisions of newborn boys. The longer I worked, the more I came to respect our amazing bodies--bodies that make babies, grow babies and birth babies. The birth of a newborn is a true miracle--both in function and in appearance. If these beautiful newborn boys are born with a foreskin, there's probably a good reason why they have one, and who am I to decide it is unnecessary or looks funny? Now, In 1990 it was not common at all for parents to leave their newborn sons intact, and my decision was questioned by everyone except my husband, and my mother in law, who, being 1st generation Italian in the 1950's, chose not to have her sons circumcised either. I was asked 6 times during my 2 day stay in the hospital after my birth if I planned on circumcising my son and every time I emphatically said no, I am leaving him intact, I was met with shocked and pitying looks--these from health professionals! My intact son is 25 and my intact husband is 59. Zero issues with either one.

ByronMaximus on CommonHealth December 7, 2014

Horrifying, barbaric practice. my son was born at a catholic hospital - they came in wanting to do this, even gave us brochures encouraging it. I had to register an emphatic no every time I was asked.

A friend of Brother K on Facebook December 11, 2014

CDC GAMBIT ENRAGES MOM ... "My sons were born at Missouri Baptist Hospital, where they pushed circ heavily with my 2nd son in 2004. My first was born in 2001, and I was critical - I don't recall them pushing it with him. Both times I had asked them to put no circ on the chart. I am still mad, 10 years later, at how they pushed it on me with my 2nd, mostly because I know they have probably bullied other mothers into it. What they did was with my 2nd - at every nurse change asked, "When are we circumcising," after 2 obs had told me they had - at my request - put no circ on the chart. One nurse tried to give me a brochure on the circed penis. They all came in, assuming it was being done. Finally at the last change, I said, "It seems like you're pushing it!" The nurse said, 'Oh no, we're neutral," quickly changed the subject, and left. If I had it to do again, I would have raised the roof. I'd have the stickers and the onesies. I knew to fight off the wolves. Intact should be the default. It shouldn't have to be researched and fought for and debated. It should just BE. And it's not. I hate that society lied to me, and that everyone I ever dated (and the one I married) was harmed by this. The CDC thing has just angered and upset me all over again." ~A friend

sano2hate on SFGate, December 2014

...My son is now 23 and 23 years [ago] I had to make the choice of whether or not to mutilate my child. I chose not to. But the nurses in the hospital tried on a daily basis to take him away for the procedure (I had a c-section and was in the hospital for a few days). Thank goodness I was breast feeding and insisted he remain in my room 24/7; otherwise he may have been surgically damaged because the medical field treats it as routine and normal....

Johnny Bomers on the Huffington Post, March 2015

... When I was stationed in Germany with the US Airforce and my son was born I litterally had to fight the doctors on the base not to circumzise my son. Their argument came down to "Everyone in America" does it. Don't do it. There is no medical justification for it.

TJ Whittaker · Middletown, Connecticut on VICE, April 1, 2015

In 2005 we had our first child. Upon arrival, I informed the hospital staff that we were not circumcising our son twice. First while filing out the paperwork and then again once we were in our room. It wasn't until the second time that I actually saw a provider write the words "No circ" on my wifes charts. My son was born and all was well aside from a small white cyst on the tip of his foreskin. The Dr said it was no big deal and that would be taken care of soon enough to which I said, "No, he's not being circumcised." His response was still positive and said it'll clear up on its own. No less than an hour later a nurse walks into our room, removes our sons diaper, and begins applying a numbing cream on his genitals. I asked her what she thought she was doing and she very matter of factly informed me that she was preparing him to be cut. I responded as nicely as possible that she needed to look at his medical records because he was not touched again like that. She checked his charts and walked out. It took me a little while to calm down and when I left to get something for my wife I made it a point to stop by the nurse manager (in front of multiple Dr and patients) and ask for reassurance that they weren't going to make another attempt at my sons penis while I was out of the hospital. The awkwardness of that question was awesome. Needless to say, my son is 9 now and still intact. No further attempts on my sons foreskin was made...